My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize
