HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
