I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Randomize
