i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Oh god it's open bar.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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