I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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