If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
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