My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
