That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
