Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
God I need to hump something, right now.
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