Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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