we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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