The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
