i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Can I color on your dick again?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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