Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We talked him into tasing himself.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
