At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
