I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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