I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
it's like iHOP with fire
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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