im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
