you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
