break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
