I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
