I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I have aggressive nipples.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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