I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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