She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
