? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
