my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
