Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
