Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
