Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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