Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
now i know why i became what i already was.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
