You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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