I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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