theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
