i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
