I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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