I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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