Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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