So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
