i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
