so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Randomize
