You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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