I think I am morally bankrupt
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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