i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
