Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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