she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
