im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
