You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
