Sorry, I don't speak sober.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
His nipple licking is glorious
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