Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm at about main and main street
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
