Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
