Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
