dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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